LIFE AND TIMES OF A COMMON MAN

I was born amidst the commotion of political assasinations. A gutsy woman, Indira Gandhi, who is often deemed as the greatest leader India ever had, was assasinated in 1984 by a fanatic sardar, who (ironically happened to be her bodyguard), riddled her body with bullets. But I always wonder if the Gandhis maintain a reserve team practicing in their backyard, when the stalwarts are busy on-site. Soon after Indira Gandhi's death, her son Rajiv Gandhi, who was pilot by profession, was catapulted on to the Indian political scene. Needless to say he too was a competent leader.Unfortunately, he too was assasinated by the crazy 'file photo' woman (Thenmozhi "Gayatri" Rajaratnam: name should be pronounced under parental guidance only) in 1989. Who's next in line to accede to the position? There enters Rajiv's widow, Sonia Gandhi. An Italian woman, who knew nothing about India and could bearly speak Hindi (or even if she could, it wasnt enough to haggle with Indian bhajiwalas. Now, that doesnt qualify you as a Hindi speaker), started to learn the tricks of the trade. She picked up from where her husband had left off. Her son Rahul Gandhi (who,now at 40,is still considered as yuva neta ) rose to power under the aegis of his mother. A question invariably wriggles in every Indian mind,"Could he be the next PM?". Not until the not-so-yuva neta (often referred to as the immortals)make way for him. Sonia Gandhi went on to feature twice on the Forbes list of most powerful women on earth. But, lets save that for later.

By the time i stepped into adoloscence, "politician" had already turned into an expletive. My grandpa often narrated nostalgic tales of 1940s when every person, irrespective of age, sex, caste and creed took to the streets in an attempt to free their mother land from the fetters of silence. They did succeed. But once they were given what they'd been fighting for, they knew nothing about administrating it. A few wise old men formed a commitee, borrowed ideas from governments around the world, and produced a book called the Constitution of India. The makers of Constitution had well-meaning intentions, but what they could not envisage is, the fact that constitutions can be copied but temperaments are not. As of today, the Indian Constitution has undergone 91 amendments.

India has always been a popular tourist destination with her neighbour. Every year it attracts myriads of militants from across the Radcliffe line. The government is cliqued up about the movements of these nefarious militants but are unable to find them. Well,my dear government, its all about being at the right place at the right time. Meanwhile, the uninvited guests get an urge to blow up a train or explode a car. Its a craving that they cannot put off. The actions are condenmed by the top politicians since, considering their age, there isnt much else they can do. India is the youngest nation in the world, led by a bunch of old and senile cabinet members.

Youngsters are wary of getting into the quagmire of politics. A political career in India is something which they wouldnt choose even if they're held at gun point. People of my age rather opt for foreign education. Who would want to toil day and night, burn the midnight oil, buy a ton of reference books and text books and still lack the cervitude of getting into the creme-de-la-creme institutes? Reason: reservations. "Why cant there be meritocrary?", mumbles every teenage mind.They mumble, since there's nothing much they can do.I quote Voltaire, "Its difficult to be right, when the government is wrong". One of the repercussions of the status quo is that the brainy lot (ofcourse the smarter lot) tend to migrate to another country, thus reducing the brainpool of the world to a cesspool.

Here's my kind request to the men of my country:For transitory pleasure, please dont make the woman conceive a child...again..and again..and again. Population increases at a galloping rate and so do the food prices, so do the vehicles on the streets, so do the requirement for extra land. Forests are desecrated, tigers fled the woods and then a telecom ad campaign announces that only 1411 tigers remain. Hmm..so what I can do is memorise that figure and reprimand my 10 year old for killing a tiger when he/she was prancing around in the park. No. The rudderless common man needs to know clearly how he should be of any assistance in saving the the big cats.

What is the solution to this population outburst, filthy metropolis (forget about villages), rampant corruption, abject poverty, rising crime rate and most importantly, people's diminishing faith in their own leaders? To this, all the pot bellied politicians shout in unison,"Frankly my dear, I dont give a damn!".